and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
