Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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