Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
