I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
