My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
