imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize