the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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