my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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