he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
