I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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