Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
