Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
