i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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