He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
