Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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