How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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