please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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