Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We have so much sex to catch up on
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
