So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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