That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Your penis caused this!
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