shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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