he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You know, be my cock's hype man.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
