Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
