sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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