Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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