the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
