I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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