I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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