Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
