I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
