Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
