remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
