bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
