you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
