just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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