Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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