I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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