So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm always down for nudity.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
