i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
