I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
