What did we do last night that was yellow?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
