Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
