Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
BRING THE BAGELS
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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