Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
