it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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