And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i will never coherently bang her
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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