You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
