The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Someone came in the potted fern
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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