I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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