the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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