In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
