i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
