Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
