those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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