Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
this will be a night to untag.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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