ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
