I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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