Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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