I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
