i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize