Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
